


Never Lose You

by adaycertain



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-13
Updated: 2013-04-13
Packaged: 2017-12-08 08:33:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/759311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adaycertain/pseuds/adaycertain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mike fears one thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Lose You

_“To love is to be vulnerable” – C.S. Lewis_

**I**

It had been at a gala. There had been women in sparkling evening gowns, men in thousand-dollar tuxedoes, the likes which Edward Darby deems are only suitable for lawyers of their stature, but Mike was too sure he will never grow into. There had been champagne in flute glasses, and light banter all around. 

It was the year-end gala where they toast their million-dollar wins and count their losses with one hand. Mike had been toasted for his “exceptional performance” and Mike couldn’t help but beam as the room raised their glasses to him. Harvey was there too, across the room, beside Jessica looking ridiculously pleased for himself, and maybe for Mike too.

Later in the privacy of small conversations, Edward teased at Mike’s “pluck and mettle,” and Mike remarked at the Englishman’s reluctance to say “balls.”

“You don’t fear anything, now, do you Mr. Ross?” 

Mike laughed at this. He liked Edward easy enough. The man was amiable but still unmistakably formidable. There might even be respect there. But if Edward only knew.

Mike’s eyes fell on the other side of the hall where Harvey and Scottie were talking to a client. They looked picture perfect. Harvard’s number one and five, New York’s finest. Mike’s throat hurt. He was used to seeing women beside Harvey. Curvy, leggy, blond, red, brunette, hair flowing in waves, always smart, always impressive. But Scottie, Mike knew with one look that here is where Harvey stops. And it hurt. It hurt from his throat to that part of his chest where wine was supposed to warm but now only stung.

Edward followed his line of sight.

“You lost your parents at a car accident.” Edward remarked flatly. “I was made aware that your grandmother also recently passed away. If you must, please think of me as your family.”

Mike didn’t know what to say. 

“Darby judging by your stubby chin, you can never pass as his father.” Harvey interrupted, appearing out of nowhere and stopping to stand beside Mike.

“Ah Harvey, I was just remarking at how this young fellow is fearless.”

Harvey looked at Mike who just shrugged. When Edward left ever so politely, Harvey turned to Mike. “What was that about?”

Mike gulped down the remaining wine and managed a “Nothing,” leaving Harvey with more than a raised eyebrow. 

 

**II**

Mike didn’t want to admit it, but he has been avoiding Harvey. Twice he dodged him on the hallway and he went so far as to offer his help to Louis whose face contorted into an opportunistic smile.

“Harvey won’t mind?”

“Louis, since when did you consider if Harvey would mind?”

“Good point. But still.”

“No, I have no work for Harvey at the moment.”

“Fine. Madison briefs.” Louis pointed to a pile of folders on the table. “End of day.”

“Aye.”

Mike was carrying what felt like a human shield worth of folders when he all but bumped into Dana Scott at the hallway

“Baby Harvey.”

“Female Harvey.”

“Oh so you like me, then?” Scottie called out.

“Who says I like females?” Mike answered as he continued to walk on.

Internally, Mike was admonishing himself. He wasn’t being rational, acting like a teenage girl, and not a particularly classy one. He needed to sort through his muddle before this escalates into ---

“This is amateur work.” Harvey appeared in front of his cubicle a little past nine in the evening, removing Mike’s earphones, making the younger man look up. 

“That’s a slam dunk and you know it.”

“And that’s an excuse to be sloppy?”

Mike had a voice in his head reminding him to reign it in. But it was too late in the day, he was two hours behind in his briefs, and the “amateur” work Harvey was shoving to his face was three nights’ worth of Mike’s hard work. Mike stood up on eye level with Harvey for a moment, daring him to continue, and started packing his things.

“Where the hell are you going?”

“Home. The library. Anywhere away from you.”

“I ought to fire you.”

“Then fire me Harvey!” Mike snapped. “I’m incompetent and amateur! Go find another associate! Oh wait, you have Scottie!”

Harvey grabbed Mike by his elbow and shoved him in the copy room.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Mike was still seething but the consequences of what he just did were quickly tempering his anger and slowly turning into panic.

“Fuck, Harvey. You’re what’s wrong with me! You’re holding this thing over my head -- that you can fire me anytime, expose me. I don’t give a fuck anymore. You want me out of here? I’ll leave! You’ve got your hands full anyway!”

“You want to leave, Mike? Is that it? Forcing me to fire your goddamn ass?”

“Fuck you.”

Harvey studied him suddenly quiet and rueful. “Are you unhappy?”

Mike looked at him and for a moment all he ever wanted was to tell Harvey - tell Harvey that he is all that is left of his world and it felt everyday that Mike was losing him too; tell Harvey that he is Mike’s “one good thing” and more than anything, he was terrified of what lies ahead; tell Harvey that he shouldn’t be with Scottie because it was Mike and not her who stuck by him, never lied to him, supported him through the hells and back of the past two years.

“No.” Mike shook his head and this time reigned in his tears. “I’m sorry.”

Harvey was studying his face without saying anything.

When Mike looked up, he could see Harvey’s brown eyes open and honest and real, and he couldn’t stop the words from coming out.

“Don’t be with Scottie.”

“Mike – “ 

“I know it’s not my place – “

 

 

Harvey had kissed many women and a handful of men. He knows of angles of faces and tilts of noses and the way lips dance. But this kiss, the first time he kissed Mike and pins him to the wall, this was more than lips touching – this was Harvey’s admission and surrender to the inevitable. Their lips found their places at once and Mike could not help but melt in the kiss, hands on Harvey’s hair, chest rising and falling with each shuddered breath. 

“Hell of a way to tell me to be with you,” Harvey whispered through a smile as he rested their temples together, arms still on Mike’s hips.

“Stay with me.”

“I’m not going anywhere, rookie.” Harvey said before claiming his mouth once again.

**III**

Mike will never be prepared for it. There will never be any amount of readiness when he receives a call after a win in the courthouse, a call from Donna telling him that Harvey had been in a car accident and that he’s in a hospital lying unconscious.

“Mike, I need you to get clothes for Harvey in his apartment – Jessica’s in the hospital – I have to reschedule his meetings – Mike? Mike, are you there? Can you do that?”

Mike’s throat felt dry and the land under his feet suddenly felt uneven and hollow.  
“---can ---can I see him? Is he alright?“ Mike’s voice came out in a strangled plea.

“Mike, focus for me. For Harvey. Jessica’s already in the hospital with him, don’t worry.”

Mike crashed into the inside of a cab feeling sick to his fingertips. He felt like throwing up, like a thousand and one firecrackers were in his throat and he couldn’t breathe. _Harvey in a car accident. Harvey in a hospital._ All that he could do not to hurl at the memory of seeing his parents that night all those years ago was to grip the leather seat until his nails were white. 

Moving around Harvey’s apartment was difficult - taking out travel bags and filling it with essentials and neatly-folded shirts and whites, smelling Harvey from the cloth. Mike chokes on the tears and the heaves.

Stopping the cab in front of the hospital curb was more difficult. The snow was thick and the cold cut him through. At the lobby, Scottie met him and they climbed the elevator in silence. Mike hated how she could stay calm, how she can still type at her blackberry when Mike’s hands can barely stop shaking.

When Mike finally saw Harvey at the hospital room, it took all of Mike’s strength not to run to that beautiful man lying peacefully on the hospital bed.

“I’ll stay,” Mike voice cracked slightly. 

“I can stay.”

“No. I’ll stay with him.”

Scottie looked at him and very briefly nodded. She understood.

Mike didn’t sleep that night. He stayed on a chair hunched over, daring the world to take Harvey away on his watch.

What was it that Darby called him? “Full of pluck and mettle and absolutely fearless.” Mike smiled ruefully at the memory because the simple truth was that he was terrified of one thing and one thing only, and now it has happened.

Today he could have lost Harvey completely. 

Hell, he wasn’t letting that. Not to Scottie, to a car accident, or to anyone.

Harvey stirs. Mike places a soft kiss on his eye and Harvey murmurs “Mike?”

“Sshhh…”

“Stay with me.”

Mike smiles at the words, said in a quiet room, from the man who became his family and his whole world.

“I’m here, Harvey. I’m not going anywhere, ” as he kisses Harvey’s face to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to everyone who left kudos and read this. <3 Wish me luck in my bar review!


End file.
